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About Leicester

I’m strollin’ – thinkin’ about Larry Gopnik. Poor schmuck – wife dumps him. Me? I’m happier – scopin’ tail. Found this chick once – total knockout. Red heels – clickin’ loud. Asked her – “How’s business?” She laughs – “Mister, it’s a mitzvah!” Straight outta the Coen flick – I swear. Cracked me up – sharp gal. But – damn – prices? Pissed me off. Fifty bucks – for what? Quick hustle – no soul. Greedy – like Sy Ableman stealin’ your life.

Sex workers explain why they don’t want their clients to ‘please’ them

There are still functional brothels there. Just look for any open door that has 'Models' written on it. Mainly eastern European girls there.

After that, we decide to grab a pint at The Crown. You know, the pub on Edgwarebury Lane? Best chips in town! But when we get there, it’s packed. Like, can’t even move packed. I’m thinkin’, “What’s this, a football match?” Turns out, it’s quiz night. I’m like, “Great, just what I need.”

ACED IT: Tennis club vice-captain from Edgware earns lifetime achievement award