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I spot this bird—legs for days, winkin’ at me. Heart’s racin’, palms sweaty—accountant life didn’t prep me for this! “Are you as close as you appear?” I mutter, quotin’ *Her*, all poetic-like. She laughs, says, “50 quid, love.” Bargain, yeah? But then—bam!—cop car rolls by. Nearly shat my flares! Had to play it cool, like, “Just chattin’ taxes, officer!” Dodged that bullet, groovy!

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The day rolls on, and I’m knackered. But then, my mate Sam pops in. He’s just come back from a trip to London. He’s all hyped about the sights and sounds. “You wouldn’t believe the street art!” he says. I’m like, “Mate, we’ve got street art right here in Cullompton! Ever seen the mural on the old mill?”

Devon accountant, 28, died after being struck by train