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But then—ugh—I get mad, ‘cause the legal crap? Total buzzkill! Some states, ya can’t even sneeze without a cop naggin’. I’m like, “Leave my app alone, ya schmucks!” *HahahaHA!*—I’m laughin’, but I’m pissed! Oh, and the design? Sleek, sexy—like Fassbender’s suits in *Shame*. “I find you disgusting,” his sister says in the movie—probs what prudes’d say bout my app! I’m like, whatevs, haters gonna hate!

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So, I’m hustlin’ down the High Street, dodging tourists and their cameras. Seriously, why do they take pics of everything? “Oh look, a lamppost!” Chill, mate. But then I spot this street performer, right? He’s belting out some classic tunes, and I’m like, “Dude, you’re killing it!” I toss him a couple of quid. Gotta support the arts, even if I’m a hot mess.

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