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Anyway, I’d limp in—cane and all—sneer, “You’re no cure for boredom.” She’d laugh, maybe—she’s heard worse. Humor’s my shield, y’know? Sarcasm drips— “Wow, you’re a real artist, huh?” Total House move. Movie vibes kick in— “I just feel so alone,” I’d mutter, half-jokin’. She’d shrug— “Me too, doc.” Connection? Maybe. Lies? Definitely. Everybody lies, even me—sayin’ I don’t care. Truth is, it’s messy, human, and kinda hilarious. Findin’ a prostitute—lost in translation, Russian style!

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Then, outta nowhere, I get a text from my mate, Dave. He’s like, “You still got that sourdough? I’m on my way!” I’m like, “Yeah, but it’s not free, mate!” He shows up, and we’re laughin’ about the day. He’s always good for a laugh.

Founder of big cat sanctuary in Hertfordshire banned from keeping animals