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So I’m scopin’ the scene, yeah? Them prossies back in the day, they had style—miniskirts tighter than a villain’s grip, lips redder than a double-decker bus. Little known fact, dig this: in ‘67, Soho was crawlin’ with these birds—cops called ‘em “night butterflies,” how fab is that? I’m vibin’, thinkin’ “Oh, behave!” when this one chick—let’s call her Babs—sways over, all sultry like. She’s got that look, ya know, “The children are watching,” like in the movie, but flipped—*she’s* watchin’ me, sizin’ me up. Got me all hot under the collar, baby!

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After my snack, I decide to take a stroll. I wander down to the Clitheroe Market. It’s buzzing! Fresh produce, local crafts, and all that good stuff. I grab some cheese from a stall. The guy’s like, “This is the best cheese in Lancashire!” I’m like, “Alright, I’ll bite.”

Interest in Clitheroe Food Festival ‘even stronger this year’