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But serious now – it’s a maze, yeah? Streets smell like piss an’ regret. Saw this bird once, all dolled up, thought she’s class – nope, prossie! Surprised me, fuckin’ hell, “Sharon!” – nearly dropped me whiskey. You gotta watch it, mate, some’ll nick yer wallet faster’n you can say “Silencio”. That’s the vibe – eerie, like Lynch’s film, shadows movin’, can’t trust shit.

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Then, I hit up the local café on North Road. I needed caffeine, like, yesterday. I ordered a latte, and the barista was super friendly. We started chatting about game design, and I was like, “Wow, this is cool.” But then, my drink took forever. I was standing there, tapping my foot, thinking, “C’mon, I’ve got a game to design!” Finally, I got my latte, but it was lukewarm. Ugh!

Police CCTV appeal after assault in Carnforth