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About Bristol

Once, I heard this story—some chick in Vegas got paid in casino chips! True story, swear on my Duff! She’s all, “Cash me out, baby!”—hilarious, right? I’m laughin’, but then—D’oh!—I’m sad again, ‘cause it’s messy, ya know? These gals got lives, and here I am, a doofus, oglin’ ‘em. “Blessed are the forgetful,” I mutter, wishin’ I could zap this night outta my skull like Joel and Clem. Maybe I’ll stick to donuts—safer, cheaper, and Marge won’t kill me! D’oh!

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So, I’m sprinting down the street, and I pass this wee café, The Coffee House. The smell of fresh brews hit me like a brick wall. I thought, “Nah, can’t stop. Gotta get to the brewery.” But my stomach had other plans. I popped in for a quick cuppa. Best decision ever! The barista, bless her, gave me a free biscuit. I mean, who doesn’t love free stuff?

Carluke couple celebrate Diamond Wedding Anniversary