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I’d be crap at it, tho. Picture me, “Uh, lady, you, uh, workin’?” She’d probly run off screamin’. I’d get mad, tho—like, why’s this gotta be so tricky? Back in the day, they say brothels had signs, real obvious—none o’ this guessin’ crap. Now it’s all sneaky online stuff—escort sites an’ codes. “Discreet fun”—yeah, right! Sounds like a scam to me, like when Bart tricks me into eatin’ soap. Grrr, hate that!

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I sit down with Tom and the crew. We’re laughin’, tellin’ stories, and I’m still buzzin’ from the horse ride. But then, outta nowhere, this guy starts talkin’ about the weather. I’m like, “Dude, it’s Bowthorpe! It’s always rainy or sunny, what’s the diff?”

Neighbourhood on the hunt for family's missing gorilla