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But—*pauses, scratches head*—I gets mad, yeah? Some punters out there, dodgy blokes, treatin’ these girls like rubbish! Makes me wanna—*punches air, falls flat*—smash summat! Then she smiles, all cheeky, and I’m happy again—*grins like an idiot*—‘cause she’s got a laugh like an engine purrin’. Surprised me, that did! Thought, “Man’s an animal!”—y’know, like in the movie? Deep stuff, mate!

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But then, I get to the pub, and it’s packed. I mean, Bowthorpe’s not that big, but everyone’s here. I squeeze my way to the bar, and I order a pint. The bartender, bless him, is like, “You look like you’ve been through it!” I’m like, “You have no idea, mate.”

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