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But—ruh-roh!—then this greasy dude rolls up, all “Back off, pooch, she’s mine!” Pissed me off, man! I’m like, “Grrr, pal, I ain’t sharin’ no Scooby Snacks *or* dames!” He’s actin’ all tough, but I’m thinkin’, “This guy’s dumber than a bag o’ hammers.” Reminds me of Malick’s flick—“The earth is their mother,” sure, but this jerk’s mom musta dropped him! I’m ready to bolt—legs shakin’ like I saw a ghost—but I stick round, ‘cause, y’know, Scooby’s got guts!

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Anyway, I grab a napkin and start cleaning up. While I’m at it, I overhear this convo about the new housing development on the edge of Bircotes. Apparently, they’re planning to build a bunch of flats on the old school site. I’m thinking, “Great, just what we need – more overpriced shoeboxes.” I mean, who’s gonna afford that? Not me, that’s for sure.

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