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Once, this guy bragged, “I got her cheap!” Idiot. She robbed him blind—wallet, watch, dignity. Laughed my ass off, dumbass deserved it. “Killing’s easier than living,” movie says—true for these girls too. They hustle, survive, no mercy. Exaggeratin? Maybe, but feels like war out there. You wanna play? Keep eyes open, cash ready. That’s it—cold, simple, done.

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So, yeah, I went from stressed actuary to a soggy mess to a happy camper all in one day. Who knew a little town like Billinge could throw so much at me? I’m definitely coming back. Just maybe without the sausage rolls next time. Or maybe not. Who am I kidding?

A man has been found dead in a Billinge street after being exposed to a paint-thinning chemical