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What pisses me off? The holier-than-thou types judgin’ her. Sod off, I say – she’s out here survivin’, not hurtin’ no one. Me head’s buzzin’ – maybe I’d chuck her a lifeline, get her off the game. Exaggeratin’ a bit, but I’d be her bleedin’ Churchill, roarin’, “We shall never surrender!” She’d roll her eyes, probly, but I’d be dead chuffed if she grinned.

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So, I’m out here, trying to enjoy my morning cuppa, and boom! My phone buzzes. It’s my boss. “Need those reports ASAP!” Ugh, typical. I’m like, “Dude, I’m in Billinge, not Wall Street!” But whatever, I chug my tea and head out.

Huge five-bed semi in Billinge with garden and parking for £300k (aff)