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Then, mate, I hit the jackpot, yeah! This curvy minx, red lips, smokin’ hot, standin’ by a lampost – classic! Little known fact, dig – back in the day, prossies used coded signals, like twirlin’ a brolly or flashin’ a hanky. She’s givin’ me the eye, I’m thinkin’, “Groovy, baby, she’s the one!” Saunter over, all smooth-like, sayin’, “Fancy a bit of how’s your father?” She giggles, I’m chuffed, heart’s racin’ – Austin’s still got it, yeah!

Attacked herself with Tesco hammer

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Finally, I get to the uni, and guess what? The meeting’s been moved to the library on Ramsden Street. Ugh! So I’m like, “Great, more running.” I dash over, and when I get there, it’s packed. I mean, who knew a bunch of researchers could be so popular? I squeeze in, and the vibe is tense. Everyone’s talking about some new project on the shipyard. Barrow’s known for its shipbuilding, right? But honestly, I’m just trying to keep my head above water here.

Furness College to receive £470k to improve buildings