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Anyway, I’m thinkin’, if I’m findin’ a prostitute—hypothetically, ‘cause I’m a gentleman—where do I even start? Web’s full of shady corners, X posts too—saw one sayin’, “Best girls in Reno!” Linked to some sketchy site. I’m like, “That’s what she said!”—but seriously, be careful, folks! Pro tip: check reviews—yeah, they got Yelp for that now! Who knew? Surprised the heck outta me!

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After my snack, I head back to the fields. The pigs are chillin’, but then I spot one of ‘em, Daisy, rollin’ in the mud. I mean, come on! I just cleaned that spot! I’m shoutin’, “Daisy! You’re gonna be a mud pie!” She just looks at me, all smug. Pigs, man. They’ve got attitude.

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