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Alright, listen up, jabroni! I’m Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson – Raised eyebrow, “Know your role.” Sex-dating? Man, it’s wild out there! Like “Wolf of Wall Street” wild. You got folks swipin’ left, right, tryna score. It’s a freakin’ jungle, I tell ya! Apps like Tinder, Bumble – pure chaos. People sellin’ themselves like Jordan Belfort sellin’ stocks. “I’m not fuckin’ leaving!” – that’s their vibe. Hella thirsty dudes, chicks posin’ half-naked. It’s a game, bro, straight up.

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Suddenly, she says, “You should lighten up! Let’s grab some fish and chips!” I’m like, “You read my mind!” So, we hit up the chip shop on North Parade. Best chips in town, hands down. We sit by the beach, munching away, and I’m feelin’ a bit better. The sun’s setting, and it’s gorgeous.

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