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But yo, it ain’t all glitz—some shit pisses me off. Dudes hagglin’ like she’s a flea market deal? Fuck that noise! “He was ashamed of his perspicacity,” like Robert Ford, but these johns? No shame, just slime. Makes me wanna zap ‘em to the Neitherworld. Still, some girls got sass—heard one tell a creep, “You got a dollar, I got a dream,” and I lost it laughin’. Savage!

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On the way back, I stop by the local chippy on Victoria Street. Can’t resist a good portion of chips, right? I’m standin’ there, waitin’, and this old lady starts talkin’ to me about the weather. I’m like, “Lady, it’s Abertillery, it’s always a bit dodgy!” She just laughs and says, “At least we ain’t in the valleys!”

Popular footpath closed for six months due to 'serious erosion'