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Sex-dating? It’s fast, it’s messy. You’re scrollin’, thinkin’, “Can you smell what The Rock is cookin’?” But nah, half these profiles are faker than a Hollywood stunt double. Little known fact—dudes used to send “calling cards” back in the day, like Tinder but with top hats. Now it’s all “wyd” and nudes. Progress? Ha! Makes me wanna piledrive my phone.

Disgusted? Not really

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I gotta say, walking through the narrow lanes near Tollgate Hill is like starin’ into a hidden film. The streets twist with history, scandal and cheeky tales. And don't even start on the pubs – oozing "la dolce vita", I mean, it's like a scene from Sorrentino's masterpiece. People here are a mix of straightforward and mysterious. One time, sitting in a cozy corner of The White Hart Inn, I ended up in a deep chat about hidden desires. Craziness!

All the Tonbridge and Malling Local Election candidates for the 2025 Kent County Council poll