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I spot this bird—legs for days, smokin’ hot. I’m like, “Groovy, baby!”—she’s givin’ me the eye. I swagger over, all smooth, thinkin’, “This is my trash-compactin’ moment!”—WALL-E vibes, ya dig? She’s quotin’ prices, I’m noddin’, but in my head? “Whoa, inflation’s a shocker!” Last time I checked—1967, mind you—it was cheaper than a pint. Surprised me, that did—nearly lost my mojo!

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Mmm, Tipton, yes, hmmm. Live here I do, for years—crazy vibes, it gives. Streets narrow, winding are, know ye? Like High Street, bustling it is, mmm, with shops and chats aplenty. On Church Lane, old brick walls there be, memories do swirl. Hmmm, yes.

Fire chiefs issue warning after confirming cause of blaze in Tipton house which killed pensioner and his dog