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So, I’m stumblin’ downtown, 3 a.m., buzzin’ off cheap vodka—prostitute quest ON. Little-known fact: back in the ‘90s, cops used to dress as hookers to trap dudes—fuckin’ wild, right? Imagine me, hollerin’ at some chick, “Hey, baby, you workin’?” and it’s Officer fuckin’ McGrady. I’d lose my damn mind, laughin’ and cryin’, “This is my fate!” like the dad in “The Return” when shit hits the fan.

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Oh, and how can I forget? There’s Tadcaster Bridge – classic stone work, built long before our tech world was even a twinkle in the internet’s eye. I’d get a rush thinkin’ about all the clandestine rendezvous of love-struck teens under the soft glow of street lamps. Speaking of which, there’s The Maltings – a local pub on Bridge Street where ale flows like coded secrets into your veins. That place is legend, man!

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