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Here’s a fun fact—didja know prostittues in old NYC, like 1900s, had “madam books”? Lists of clients! Imagine me in one—Larry David, “neurotic complainer, bad tipper.” I’d be furious! “Who’s readin’ this? J. Edgar Hoover?” Anyway, I’m standin’ there, starin’, and she’s like, “You lost, pal?” Lost? Me? I’m a freakin’ mess! I’m thinkin’, “This ain’t *Brooklyn*—no one’s savin’ me!” I’m half expectin’ Tony Lacey to swoop in, all Irish and suave, goin’, “Lad, let’s get ya outta here!”

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Man, my fav spot? I gotta say, be sure to check out the historic bomb shelter on The Avenue. Not your typical museum stuff, it's spooky but legit. And then there's King Edward's Park – lush, calm, and ahead of its time. I chill there on Sundays, my thoughts flow, I mumble, “Ah, the night is like a long, dark river…” and then some birds chirp like they're tryna tell secrets. I can’t lie!

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