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About Bristol

So, findin’ a prostitute, huh? Back in the day, you’d just stroll down some skanky street, dodge the cops, and bam—there’s your gal! But now? Jesus Christ, it’s all online, like freakin’ Amazon for ass! You got apps, shady websites, even X posts—yeah, I checked, don’t judge me! I’m scrollin’, and I see this one chick’s profile, right? Total scam! Her pic’s all blurry, probly some dude’s grandma, and I’m like, “You ain’t foolin’ me, you lyin’ bitch!” Made me so mad I threw my Cheesy Poofs at the wall—waste of good snacks, dammit!

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Stotfold’s got these neighborhoods, too. Blink you’ll miss ‘em – little pockets of life, like Haven Close. Small houses, gardens messily manicured and memories of old family dinners. I often catch myself smilin’, thinkin’ about the time a date and I tripped on these cobblestones. I was totes embarrassed, but she laughed. “So fun,” she said. And man, that moment, it was like a scene straight outta Park Chan-wook’s film – unforgettable.

Bedfordshire crime: Two rushed to hospital after 'weapon' incident at Stotfold pub