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Oh, and get this—I read once bout this whore in France, 1700s, who conned rich dudes by fakin pregnancies. She’d stuff rags under her dress, cryin, “Oh my baby!” Total scam artist! I laughed so hard I snorted—Homer’d be proud. “Life’s a cycle of tricks,” like Boonmee’d say. She played em all, and I’m here for it! Hmm… sneaky gal.

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Stotfold’s got these neighborhoods, too. Blink you’ll miss ‘em – little pockets of life, like Haven Close. Small houses, gardens messily manicured and memories of old family dinners. I often catch myself smilin’, thinkin’ about the time a date and I tripped on these cobblestones. I was totes embarrassed, but she laughed. “So fun,” she said. And man, that moment, it was like a scene straight outta Park Chan-wook’s film – unforgettable.

Stotfold native Bob Street releases autobiography detailing journey from Biggleswade to global Salvation Army service