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Fun fact—did ya know? Old-school brothels had secret signals—red lanterns, coded knocks. Now it’s emojis—eggplant, peach, wink-wink. Progress? Pfft, same game, shinier wrapper. I’m laughin’—imagine Larry Gopnik tryin’ to decode THAT, all “What’s the meaning of this text?” Poor schmuck’d be lost, clutchin’ his Torah, while I’m over here, “I can see Russia from my house!”—spyin’ every shady detail others miss.

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Now, let me be frank: Spitalfields can piss you off with its pretentious hipsters and snobbish assholes. Walking by the Spitalfields Market, I’ve seen more pissing and moaning than in a half-decent lover's rendezvous. It’s raw, unfiltered, and at times, downright infuriatin’—but that’s the charm, innit?

SPITALFIELDS MARKET REVEALS NEW STREET FOOD OPENINGS ON LAMB STREET