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About Leicester

Funniest thing—some spots got menus. Like McDonald’s, but with boobs. Pick your flavor, pay up—absurd as hell. Made me laugh, tho—capitalism’s wild, fam. Surprised me too—girls runnin the show sometimes. Boss bitches, flippin the script. Thought in my head: “Respect, but damn, risky.” Exaggeratin here, but feels like half these johns cry after. “It’s not a hoax,” they whimper—pathetic.

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After that madness, I head back to the shop. I’m still buzzing from the chicken race. But then, I see this old lady on the corner of East Street. She’s trying to cross, but the traffic’s a nightmare. I’m talking cars everywhere, like it’s the M25 or something. So, I rush over, help her across, and she’s like, “Bless you, dear!” I’m thinking, “Just doing my bit for Sittingbourne.”

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