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Oi mate, gather round, lemme ramble—prostitutes, yeah? Financial advisor hat on, but Boris-style, bit of a shambles, ha! So, prostitution—oldest gig going, innit? Cash up front, no taxman sniffing, pure *quid pro quo*. Makes me chuffed—freedom from the bloody bureaucrats! Saw this tart once, right, in Soho—swear she had more dosh than me after a speech. *Ego te absolvo*, I muttered, absolving her sins in my head, classic Boris, eh?

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The local park, Lovelace Gardens (yes, that name’s spot-on), is where folks come for a breath, a cuddle, maybe a scandalous rendezvous under the trees. I remember when I first strolled there, damn, my heart raced like I was about to drop a truth bomb in a public lecture – I was like "Shoot, I'm alive!" The trees, the benches, even the awkward pigeons made me think about the juxtaposition between raw sexuality and pure nature. Total Eric Andre mayhem in a garden!

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