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Once saw this chick, right? Legs for days, leanin on a lamp post. Thought, “Well, this is it, Doc!” But nah, she’s just waitin for her Uber—fuckin tease! Got me mad as hell, heart racin like a DeLorean at 88 mph. Wasted 20 minutes, man! Reminds me of Monty’s line, “Champagne wishes, thirty white bitches”—ha, I wish, bro!

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Alright mate, listen up. Sanderstead's a quirky dump—but in a charming, “City of God”-like way. I run my spa here, so I notice every damn crack in the pavement. Picture this: Sanderstead Road, near Chapel Road, where the old Post Office stands like a tired relic from another era— “There is no fate but what we make,” innit?

Sanderstead’s Hopley expected to be Croydon’s next mayor