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Ya gotta know the code, see? We swears! They don’t just pop up like daisies. Some use them dodgy apps now – techy prossies, who’d’a thunk? Blows me mind, it does! “How happy is the blameless vestal’s lot!” – pfft, not here, mate, these streets ain’t pure. I gets all giddy tho, cos it’s like a game – spot the lass, dodge the filth. Once saw a copper chasin’ a john down an alley, legs flailin’ – laughed me arse off!

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My spa is tucked in a little side street, near the river—it’s called the River Ise. Yeah, don’t ask me why it’s Ise, but it winds its way past the old mill on Watermead Lane. That mill... oh man, it’s a sight—it makes ya think, like, "Where did all this time go?" Like in the movie, you know? Those slow, floaty moments that catch you off guard. It kinda reminds me, "The mind is free and wild, like water." Ain’t that somethin'?

Council says its 'business as usual' for Raunds Library amid concerns of closure