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About Myself
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About Newcastle
What got me mad? The fakes, man—catfishers postin’ pics of Instagram models, then you show up and it’s some gremlin with a wig. Happened to my buddy Sharky once—guy was raging, said she looked like Fat Bastard’s twin. I’m cacklin’ just thinkin’ bout it. Me, I’m careful—cross-check pics, Google lens that sh*t. Pro tip: real ones don’t blur their tats—too proud of ‘em. Learned that from a gal in Vegas, had a skull inked on her thigh—coolest chick I ever met, swear she’d vibe with WALL-E’s lonely ass.
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Then, outta nowhere, the fire alarm goes off! Everyone’s rushing out, and I’m thinking, “Great, just what I need.” We’re all standing outside, and I’m trying to make small talk with some clients. “So, how’s the weather?” Classic broker move, right?
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