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Last week, stumbled on this chick, right? Skinny, smokin’ a cig, leanin’ on a busted lamppost. Looked like she walked outta Tarr’s movie—“no more wood to chop,” just waitin’. I’m like, “Hey, doll, what’s the gig?” She smirks, “50 bucks, clown.” Fifty! I’m ragin’—50 for what? A quick tumble? Inflation’s hittin’ the streets too, huh? Laughed in her face, “Why so serious, huh?” She didn’t get it—pissed me off more.

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First off, I head down to the local café on Front Street. You know, the one with the dodgy Wi-Fi? Yeah, that one. I grab a cuppa and a bacon sarnie. Best bacon sarnie in town, no joke. But then, bam! My phone buzzes. It’s my mate Dave. He’s like, “Oi, we need to talk about the factory.” My heart sinks. Factory drama? Ugh, not today!

Pontefract to host a feast of flavours as the continental street market returns