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Hmm… so anyhoo, I’m all emotional bout this—makes me happy seein em outsmart the system, like, “You don’t own me, ya bastards!” Kinda like Aldo Raine yellin, “We’re in the killin Nazi business!”—whores are in the survivin bizness, ya feel? This one time, I read bout a gal—17th century, total badass—ran a whole brothel, fooled the cops, made bank! Surprised me, honestly, thought they all just… ya know, laid there. Nope! She was scalpin fools left n right—well, not really, but ya get it! Hee-hee, marge’s mind’s racin now!

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I get home, and my missus is there, all smiles. “You made it!” she says. I’m like, “Barely.” We sit down for dinner, and I’m just rambling about my day. She’s laughing at the duck incident, and I’m like, “You had to be there!”

Aftermath of devastating Plympton Langage fire as staff count cost