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About Birmingham

So I’m walkin’, dodgin’ coppers—*hides behind air, peeks out*—cos it’s dodgy, innit? Last thing I need’s a fine, blokes’d never let me live it down. Saw this one gal, tho, swear she winked at me! *blinks too hard, stumbles* Heart’s racin’, I’m thinkin’, “Is this it? Am I in?!” But nah, she’s just hawkin’ chips. Gutted, mate. *slumps, kicks at ground* Reminds me of that line, “You’re a very hip person!”—sarcastically, cos I’m a right muppet here.

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I walk over, tryin’ to keep it cool. “Hey, lads, can we keep it down a bit?” They look at me like I’m from another planet. One of ‘em goes, “Chill, mate, it’s just a vibe.” A vibe? More like a headache! But whatever, I let it slide.

Sync Bar in Pinner announces closure after 14 years