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About Bristol

Exaggeratin’ for the drama—I’m screamin’, “I’m the king of this night!” Actin’ like I’m hot shit, but really, I’m broke, smellin’ like regret. Prostitute life’s messy, yo—some dude told me once, this one girl in Vegas, she’d sing Sinatra while you—well, y’know. Weird flex, but I respect it. Keeps it real. “The Return” vibes again—“We’ve got to go back!”—I’m thinkin’ that after, wonderin’ if I’m lost in this chaos.

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First stop, I’m rollin’ down the High Street. You know, the one with all the shops and that fancy old church? Yeah, that place. I’m cruisin’ along, and suddenly, this pigeon decides to play chicken with my tractor. Like, mate, you really wanna test me? I swerve, nearly take out a lamppost. I’m shoutin’ at the bird like it can hear me. “Get outta the way, ya feathery menace!”

Bumper picture gallery: meet the new Musselburgh Honest Lad and Honest Lass