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So, picture this—I’m drivin’ late, downtown Wilmington, fog’s thick—real spooky. Saw this chick, heels clickin’, skirt shorter than a Delaware winter. I’m thinkin’, “She’s out here, huntin’ like that alien broad.” Didn’t stop—c’mon, it’s me—but I wondered, how’s it work? Here’s a fact—did ya know some cities got “stroll zones”? Unofficial, sure, but cops know! Blew my mind—organized chaos, folks.

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So, I’m like, “Fine, I’ll just take the gnomes to the pub.” I pull up, and the sight is hilarious. There’s a bunch of blokes, pints in hand, and I’m rolling in with a truck full of gnomes. They start laughing, and I’m like, “Hey, who needs a gnome for your garden?”

Leicestershire police officer ‘unlawfully’ restrained 10-year-old boy in park