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About Liverpool

Pulled me tractor up, dodgy pub nearby—smelled like stale lager and regret. Asked this geezer, “Where’s the talent at?” He’s all shifty, points me to some lass by the bar. She’s got that “I’m not lost, I’m exploring” vibe—straight outta the movie! I swagger over, classic Brent style, “Alright darlin’, fancy a synergy sesh?” She laughs—proper cackle—says, “£50, big boy.” I’m gobsmacked, mate, £50?! For a quick “team-building exercise”? Highway robbery!

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First off, I hit the road on Leicester Road, and it was like a scene from a bad movie. Traffic was a nightmare! I mean, come on, it’s a Tuesday, not rush hour! I’m sittin’ there, fuming, thinking about how I could’ve slept in. But nooo, I had to be responsible. Ugh.

‘Nightmare’ parking and ‘abuse’ from users of newly opened café in Mountsorrel