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About Leicester

Me? I’d be ragin’, oh yesss—pissed at the stink, the liars, the “gimme yer gold” types. “Stupid, fat hobbit!”—I’d hiss at ‘em, waddlin’ round with their fat wallets. But—hah!—it’s funny too, innit? Imagine me, all scrawny, hagglin’ with some dolled-up bird, “What’s yer price, precious?” She’d laugh, prob’ly, sayin’ I ain’t got the shine for it. Fair, fair—me pockets empty as a preacher’s soul!

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The quarry’s massive, and I’m trying to navigate through all these trucks. It’s like a game of Tetris, but with real-life consequences. I finally get to the loading area, and they tell me the load’s delayed. Delayed! I’m about to lose it. I mean, I’ve got a schedule to keep!

Leicestershire area plagued by 'nightmare' parking consulted on residents-only scheme