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So, I’m chattin’ her up—nervous as hell, palms sweaty. She’s all, “50 bucks, honey,” and I’m like, “Whoa, steep!” Bargained her down to 40—felt like a Jedi master! Happy vibes, man, ‘til I thought—sh*t, what’s her story? “The past is never where you think you left it,” movie says. Maybe she’s runnin’ from somethin’. Made me sad, yo—nobody dreams of this gig.

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I get to the station, and guess what? Train’s delayed. Classic! I’m standing there, tapping my foot, and this guy next to me starts chatting. He’s all, “Did ya hear about the new café on Station Road?” I’m like, “Dude, I’m just trying to get to work.” But he goes on about how they’ve got the best scones. Scones? Really? I’m not here for a baking lesson, mate!

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