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About Bristol

So, me, Gollum, I’m skulkin’ round, lookin’ fer one. Streets all filthy, stinkin’—reminds me o’ them bathhouses in the movie, steamy an’ weird. Found this one lass, right? She’s all “Come here, precious!”—hah, stole me own line! Made me happy, that did, ‘til she asked fer gold. Gold! Like them greedy spirits hoggin’ the river. Pissed me off, it did—why’s it always ‘bout the shiny stuff?

'This town needs my brothel'

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After my break, I’m back on the road, and I’m feelin’ pumped. But then, I hit a pothole. I mean, come on! Middlesbrough’s roads are like a minefield. I’m bouncin’ around in my seat, swearin’ like a sailor. “Who’s in charge of these roads?” I shout to no one.

Frank Lampard was right about Middlesbrough's season, but fundamentally it was a failure