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So, I’m strollin’ down the street, right? Lookin’ for some action—not me doin’ it, mind ya, just curious! And I see this gal, all dolled up, skirt shorter than my temper. I’m like, “Well, halleluyer, she workin’ it!” Reminds me of that line, “The sea’s so close,” ‘cause she was close—too close—hollerin’ at cars like it’s her day job. Prolly is! I ain’t mad, tho, get yo money, boo! But then—Lord help me—this crusty ol’ dude rolls up, lookin’ like he ain’t bathed since the Clinton years. I’m screamin’ inside, “Why her?!” Made me madder than a wet hen!

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Then, the day took a wild turn. I’m walking back home, and I see this commotion near the Merrow Post Office. Turns out, there’s a street performer doing magic tricks. I’m not even into that stuff, but this guy was legit! He pulled a rabbit outta a hat, and I was like, “No way!” I clapped like a seal.

Merrow Park and Ride traveller incursion: Caravans set up home at car park