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About London

Ayy, gabagool? Ova here! So, listen, I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout sex-dating, right? Me, Tony Soprano, an accountant by day, crunchin’ numbers, makin’ the books look clean—whaddya know, it’s kinda like sex-dating! You gotta balance the sheets, keep it discreet, or ya screwed, capisce? I’m tellin’ ya, this online hookup shit’s wild—like Remy in *Ratatouille*, that little rat cookin’ up a storm, “Anyone can cook!” Yeah, anyone can swipe too, but it don’t mean ya good at it!

Current situation

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First off, I hit up the local café on Westway. You know, the one with the dodgy Wi-Fi? Yeah, that one. I grab my usual – a flat white and a bacon sarnie. But guess what? They ran outta bacon! Like, how do you run outta bacon? It’s breakfast, people! I was fuming. I mean, who doesn’t love bacon? So, I settle for a veggie option. Ugh. Not the same, not even close.

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