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I hit up this corner—boom, there she is! Red heels, smokin’ a cig, lookin’ like she dgaf. I’m thinkin’, “Is this love authentic?”—another *Certified Copy* line, ha! Nah, fam, it’s just business, but my brain’s spinnin’. I’m yellin’ inside, “Eric, chill, this ain’t a rom-com!” She’s quotin’ prices like it’s a damn menu—50 for this, 100 for that. I’m like, “Girl, I ain’t tryna buy your soul!” Laughin’ my ass off, but lowkey surprised how chill she is. Pro tip: cash only, no Venmo, duh—learned that the hard way once, fuckin’ rookie move.

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After that, I head to Park Lane. It’s a lovely street, all trees and flowers. I’m feeling zen, right? But then, I see this massive dog. Like, it’s a bear in disguise. It runs up to me, and I’m like, “Whoa, chill, buddy!” The owner’s laughing, but I’m just trying not to get knocked over.

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