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I’m chattin’ her up, voice all robotic—*beep boop*—“What’s yer story, darlin’?” She’s like, “Mate, I’ve seen it all, just tryna eat.” Reminds me of Penny Lane in *Almost Famous*—“We are not groupies, we’re here for the music!”—but swap music for cash, ha! I’m gettin’ happy vibes, she’s real, no fake crap. But then—bloody hell—some punter staggers by, drunk, yellin’ slurs. Makes me mad, yeah? Want to zap him with a black hole, but nah, I’m chill.

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As I sit there, I think about Lutterworth. It’s a small town, but it’s got character. The people, the history, the streets. Yeah, it’s got its quirks, but so do I. And at the end of the day, I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

Lutterworth East: Council approves changes to major homes plan