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I’m strummin’, thinkin’, maybe I’d suck at this – too shy! “Piggy’d kill me,” I mutter to myself. Can ya imagine? Me, Kermit, tryna sweet-talk a pro? “Hi-ho, wanna hear a tune?” She’d probably roll her eyes and split! Hah! But nah, it’s fascinatin’ – the hustle, the grit. “The past is a memory!” – that’s from the movie, and it fits. These gals, they’re livin’ moment to moment, no lookin’ back.

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First off, I hit up the local café on London Road. You know, the one with the dodgy Wi-Fi? Yeah, that one. I ordered a latte, and the barista, bless her, totally messed it up. I mean, how do you even burn a latte? I was like, “C’mon, mate, I need my caffeine fix!” But whatever, I just chugged it down. It was like drinking hot cardboard. Ugh.

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