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Still, mate, it’s a wild gig – sex escorts dodgin’ coppers, livin’ large, laughin’ at the squares. One time, this gal told me she banked 10k in a week – bloody hell, I nearly choked! Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but who cares? She’s got sass, and I’m here for it. Sarcasm drips off me – “Oh, darling, savin’ the world one shag at a time?” She smirked, game on.

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Then, I spot this old lady on the corner of Epsom Road. She’s got this massive hat on, like she’s going to the Queen’s garden party or something. I’m thinking, “That’s the vibe I need!” So, I run over and ask her to join me. She’s all about it! We’re chatting, and she’s telling me stories about the old days in Long-Ditton. Apparently, there used to be a train station here, and it was a big deal. Who knew?

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