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But—oh, man—some blokes she’s met? Total wankers! One geezer tried stiffin’ her, said, “You’re just a dream, doll.” Made me mad, proper fumin’! I’m thinkin’, “Mate, she’s realer than your fake Rolex!” Another time, this posh git drops a tenner—tenner!—for her troubles. Stingy sod! Rita’s like, “This is no longer your business,” cool as ice. Pulled that line right from *Mulholland*, gave me chills, baby!

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Back at the shop, I’m finally catchin’ a break when this kid walks in. He’s got a pocket full of change and wants to buy a sausage roll. I’m like, “Mate, you’re in the wrong place!” But I can’t resist. I give him a roll and tell him to come back when he’s got more cash. He grins like I just handed him a gold bar. Kids, man. They make ya feel all warm inside.

Victim of fatal crash near Liphook and Rake named by Sussex Police