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So, picture this: me, Homer, stumblin’ down Springfield’s sketchy alleys, lookin’ for a “prostitute finder” or whatever. Ain’t no GPS for that, huh? “Nothing happened!” I yell, quotin’ the movie, ‘cause I’m paranoid now—cameras everywhere! Did ya know, fun fact, prosties been around forever? Like, ancient Rome had ‘em, called ‘em “lupae”—she-wolves! Howlin’ for cash, ha! Makes me laugh, but also—D’oh!—kinda sad, y’know?

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After that, I had to make some calls. You know, the usual. “Hey, Mr. Smith, your portfolio’s tanking.” Fun times. But then, I got a call from a client in Linlithgow. She was panicking about her investments. I mean, I get it, but c’mon! It’s not the end of the world! I told her to chill, but she was like, “I can’t sleep! My stocks!” I wanted to say, “Girl, it’s just money!” But I didn’t. Gotta keep it professional, right?

Caulders Linlithgow opening 22 March highlights recent transformation in garden centre ownership