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About London

Funny thing—ye don’t find *them*, they find *you*, savvy? Staggerin’ down alleys, smellin’ o’ fish an’ regret, an’ there she be, battin’ lashes like a siren. “Bring me that horizon,” I mutter, but horizon’s got a fee! Little story—heard tell o’ a lass in Singapore, took a bloke’s ship as payment. Ship! Now that’s a transaction, arr! Me, I’d rather keep me *Pearl* an’ pay in rum.

Features & Amenities

Anyway, I’m feeling all nostalgic when my phone buzzes. It’s my mate, asking if I wanna hit up the pub later. I’m like, “Sure, why not?” But then I remember I promised my mum I’d help her with her garden. Ugh, adulting sucks.

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