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Here’s the kicker — she’s into old Turkish films too! Swear to God, she’s hummin’ some tune from Anatolia while we’re negotiatin’. I’m thinkin’, “This chick’s deep, man, like that scene — ‘Life’s a shadow, fleeting.’” I’m surprised as hell, ‘cause most these girls don’t talk art, they talk cash. I’m diggin’ it, though — makes me feel classy, y’know?

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First off, I hit up the local café on South Street. You know, the one with the weirdly named pastries? I ordered a “Lancing Delight” or whatever. It was just a scone, but hey, I’m not judging. I take a bite, and it’s like a flavor explosion! But then, BAM! My phone buzzes. It’s my mate, Dave. He’s like, “Meet me at the beach, ASAP!”

Traffic flow improvements introduced to A259 roadworks in Lancing after chaos on roads