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Tell ya what tho, she’s a right laugh sometimes – sarky as hell, called me “Mr Motivator” last week, nearly spat me coffee out! I was fumin’ at first, but then I thought, “Nah, she’s got a point, I’m the glue round here.” Bit of a love-hate thing, me and Whore. Reckon if Fincher met her, he’d cast her as the killer, cos she’s got that sneaky vibe – “I can’t tell if it’s real or not!” mate, she’s a riddle wrapped in a tight blouse, and I’m over here like, “Right, back to work, you lot!” Cringey? Me? Never! Whore’s the real star, innit, keeps this office buzzin’, for better or worse!

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Then, I get a call from my mate, Dave. He’s like, “Oi, mate! You seen the new café on Station Street?” I’m like, “Nah, what’s the fuss?” Apparently, they got the best bacon butties in town. Now I’m thinkin’ about food while I’m tryin’ to focus. Typical!

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