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I try app, “EscortFinder,” very modern! Profile say, “Lola, 25, curvy,” but photo blurry, sus! Meet her, she 40, smell like cabbage, not very nice! I mad, “Why you lie, Lola?” She shrug, “Business, baby!” I laugh, coz Jep say, “We’re all on brink of despair!” True, Lola, true! Fun fact – in Italy, prostitutes dodge tax, call it “private dance,” sneaky bastards!
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Then, I get a call from my mate, Dave. He’s like, “Oi, mate! You seen the new café on Station Street?” I’m like, “Nah, what’s the fuss?” Apparently, they got the best bacon butties in town. Now I’m thinkin’ about food while I’m tryin’ to focus. Typical!
Kirkby: Salon robbery suspect arrested for multiple offences
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