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About Liverpool

Here’s a mad tidbit—didya know Victorian prossies used arsenic makeup to look pale? Killed ‘em slow, but they glowed! This bird ain’t doin’ that, thank Christ, but she’s got guts. I’m thinkin’, “She’s a star, man, shinin’ in the gutter.” Like in the movie—“It’s all happening!”—and it bloody is! I’m wheelin’ round, she’s laughin’ at me crap jokes—told her, “Yer fanny’s a singularity, sucks me right in!” She cackles, says, “You’re a nutter, prof!”

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So, I’m just chillin’, sippin’ my tea, when I hear this loud honking outside. I peek out, and it’s some dude in a van, totally blocking the road. Like, c’mon mate, move it! I’m already fuming. I mean, it’s not like we got a ton of traffic here, right?

Stokesley: Thieves flee after crashing while towing stolen caravan